lament

We had a worship seminar at church a while back now, and I remember there being discussion around the different forms of worship, ie - praise, thanksgiving, petition, lament and more. There was a comment made about lament being a tricky one as, first and foremost, there is simply not much material in terms of songs that focus on lament. There were other reasons discussed, briefly, about why it's not our primary choice for a Sunday morning service. It stayed with me, and has had me wondering if we are in a battle of sorts. Those who are content and joyful, and those heartbroken. Surely there is a myriad of inbetweeners here. But are those who are joyful able or willing to lament with those who are broken? Are those who are deep in grief physically and mentally able or willing to rejoice with those who are in a peaceful season? It comes naturally to assume it would take much more strength to be able to celebrate with someone while in mourning. Perhaps in a different way, it takes strength of awareness and compassion for those who are well to really mourn with those who are sick. 

One thing that I have found difficult in the past 6 months is people urging me toward healing, to be well, to be alright. In the messages and conversations, there is almost always a line including 'as you heal' or 'we pray for you to heal'. Of course, this is a blessing, and needed, and wise, and true. 

Perhaps not immediately. 

In deep grief, one of the greatest gifts is to have people lament with you. To weep with you, and not offer a fix, or a solution, or a reason, or a promise. Instead of trying to pick you up off the floor, they get down there with you. They listen, without judgement. They understand grief can take many forms - anger, questions, insomnia, exhaustion, weeping, isolation, the list goes on. They continue to check in, long after others have returned to normality. 

The art of showing up looks different for everyone. No one gets it all right. There isn't a right way to go about any of this. I am forever grateful to those who have decided to walk this through with me/us. I feel too tired to thank them properly, my words don't express it enough, my actions don't show it. 

I do wonder, if lament was a more natural part of our daily routine, weekly services - would those who are in a season of mourning feel more welcome?